


Encounter At A Teddy Bear Picnic

by 912luvjaxlean



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Hairbrush, Hot Humor, Phrack Fucking Friday, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/912luvjaxlean/pseuds/912luvjaxlean
Summary: Jack receives an invitation to a picnic. He may have misunderstood the part he was to play.





	Encounter At A Teddy Bear Picnic

**Author's Note:**

> An 'Encounter' style riff on spanking.

Scene:  Inspector Jack Robinson’s office. Jack is sitting at his desk. He rubs his brow with his left hand. There appears to be a bruise forming. The phone rings.

“Inspector Robinson.”

“Jack, it’s me.”

“Is this important, Miss Fisher?”

“Yes. An item has gone missing from my boudoir. I need you to investigate.”

“Can you describe it?”

“It’s my special hairbrush. The one I use for certain…shall we say, applications.”

“Color?”

“A lovely lacquered Chinese red with black bristles.”

Jack studied the red brush that sat on his desk.  “Any other distinguishing features?”

“A tiny little blue bear on the handle who is smiling happily. Unlike some.”

Jack looked at the idiotically happy bear and said, “Unlike whom?”

“Unlike a sulky auburn bear of my acquaintance.”

“Not sulky. Surprised.”

“You didn’t enjoy our encounter, then?”

“The long soak in the scented hot water was relaxing.”

“Bath salts I created for weary detectives to immerse themselves in.”

“It smelled of pine with a citrus note and an undertone of something sweet. Not floral.”

“Coconut, Inspector. I topped off your bath with coconut oil to soften your skin.”

Jack briefly cradled the phone and stroked the tops of his hands, nodding approval. “Very nice. As was the back wash and other ministrations of your hands.”

“And, then the toweling off?”

“I never realized how exciting a big white Turkish towel could be when used on every part of one’s body.”

“And, then we had our teddy bear picnic.”

“And, I was the bear," he said soberly.

“Didn’t you like being a bear, Jack?”

“I wasn’t planning on being one until you wrapped me up in your fur blanket.”

“You were such a charming bear. All cuddly and soft except for the part that wasn’t.”

“Wasn’t what, Miss Fisher?”

“Soft.”

“Yes, well.”

“And, it was all going swimmingly and to seductive perfection as you attended my picnic on the boudoir floor all wrapped in your brown fur. With all the treats Mr. Butler made for us on offer. As well as my own sweets on offer. And, then you spoiled it.”

“I did? I think not.”

“Au contraire, Inspector Bear. It was you and you alone who started it.”

“By doing what?”

“By being a snarky bear and not a sweet bear.”

“All I said…”

“All you said to my comment – ‘Mr. Butler forgot that tarte you like’?”

“Uh, I don’t recall," Jack said playing for time. 

“Let me refresh your memory. You said – ‘That’s quite alright, there’s one sitting across from me’.”

“It was a witticism.”

“As a teddy bear? No, Jack. Teddies are sweet, cuddly, and well-behaved. They are not naked cynics wearing fur blankets.”

“I didn’t anticipate playing a mute ursa when you invited me over.”

“I said we were having a teddy bear picnic.”

“Perhaps I missed the subtle clues.”

“Perhaps you did.”

“So, perhaps you can explain why you grabbed a hairbrush and struck me three times on the bare breech with it. Declaiming: Bad bear! Bad bear! Behave!”

“Of course, I can explain. You were a bad teddy. You had to be disciplined.”

“My understanding is that discipline is to be consensual with parameters and a safe word, correct?” He said pedantically.

“Yes. We have discussed it.”

“You have monologued at length on it. I’ve been forced to listen,” said Jack, picking up a shovel and digging his own grave.

“And, you have never had any interest? At all? Ever?" Phryne longed for a pickaxe in order to assist him.

“If I ever, at all, ever did, the encounter what that hairbrush changed my mind," he said from about three feet deep.

“That encounter wasn’t meant to be consensual,” she explained as she looked for clods of earth to pelt him with.

“What?!” Jack exclaimed leaping out of the hole he'd begun and racing for the high road.

“You were a bad bear, you needed correction. I did so,” Phryne insisted.

“You call grabbing a hairbrush, ripping the blanket back, and applying the back of said brush to my bare bottom...Correction?”

“That’s what a bad bear gets for calling his mistress a tart.”

“It was a joke.”

“It was not funny,” she said in a girlish hurt voice.

“Not at all?” Jack worried.

“No.” She stated firmly.

“In retrospect?” Jack softly suggested in his intimate and engaging voice.

“Well, in reviewing the incident," mused Phryne "what was amusing, was when you growled, grabbed the hairbrush and threw it out the open window. And, the window wasn’t open! So, the brush bounced off the glass and hit you in the head!” She cackled in glee.

“You found that funny?” Jack asked as he rubbed his bruised brow.

“Very. And, then you stalked off wearing nothing but the fur blanket, snarling and waving the hairbrush. More grizzly than teddy, in my opinion.”

“I wanted to assess my injuries and get dressed in the bathroom.”

“Leaving me all alone, ever so delectably delicious in my brand new, very sexy, embellished lace, plunge teddy that was purchased for your eyes only.” Disappointment sounded in her voice.

Jack sighed. “You were a pink confection, my darling. I regret that I didn’t savor your favors with my mouth, my lips, my tongue.”

“Mmmm….”

“Did you say something, Phryne?”

“No. It was more a feeling.”

“Are you still wearing your very special teddy?”

“I am.”

“Mmmm…”

“Feeling anything, Jack?”

“You mean besides the bruise on my forehead?”

“Ha!”

“i can always count on you for sympathy,” Jack smiled.  “Any final thoughts on this encounter?”

“I think teddy bears should keep their clever remarks to themselves.”

“Understood. Your hairbrush is safe, by the way.”

“I’m pleased to hear it. Do you have any last thoughts?”

“I don’t think 'tarte" will work as a safe word.”

“Nightcap, Inspector?”

“On my way, Miss Fisher.”


End file.
